Batter up!!!

....so there I was, poised in the front yard, in the dark, holding a baseball bat like it was a samurai sword.....in a pair of silk boxers. I'm thinkn'....this might be kinda' hot I weren't packn' twenty extra pounds. Just then I saw the brightest light! It was blinding! It was......the police. Two maglight wielding officers stepped out of the car and began walking toward me. I froze. How the hell am I gonna' explain this.

One of the officers asked me..."Are you looking for somebody?" Without missing a beat I answered..."Ya, my pitcher, have you seen him?" They were laughn' their asses off when one of them spotted a baseball in my yard. He's now completely lost it but he manages to form the words..."Looks like we have an abduction on our hands!!!" and continues to crack up. The other guy takes the ball still chuckling, says, "batter up," and throws the ball at me. I swung....CRACK!

I hit the ball and the ball hit one of the officers right in the fruity pebbles! "Oh my God!" They're gonna' give me the chair for this, I thought. I dropped the bat and went over to the officers. The one that pitched it was laughing so hard he couldn't stand up and the other one was in tears rolling around on the sidewalk yelling..."Oh God, Oh God, Oh God!!!" I said, "So is that like assault with a deadly weapon?" I don't think the pitcher could breathe hahahahaha. Long story short they went on their way and I was left to ponder this event.

Jacked up!!

Man, why didn't they give me any crutches?.....My foot swelled up and lit up. You ever have a part of you just light up? A spectacular example would be striking your thumb with a hammer. I'm one a them guys that don't stop. I've had my share of sprains and pains. I practically knocked myself out at work once. Split my head open....huge lump....I put my hat on and went back to it.

My remedy for a sprain is to tighten the laces on my shoes and keep on goin'. So that's what I did. Though I hadn't done anything to sprain it....or I didn't think so. Anywayz... I'm walkin', I'm workin'....I'm playin'.....movin' stuff to the next house we live in. It keeps getting worse. Big surprise right? The thing is I've always just walked it off and I've never had it get any worse. Eventually it just fades and I realize one day that it doesn't hurt anymore. Not this time.

I thought to myself...."Self, this thing is really starting to hurt." Self says back..."Stretch it." So I stretch it....preceding one of the most awesome nights of my life. You ever hurt so bad you see colors? That was me. I'm not use to hurting. I've cut myself deep enough to see the inside of my arm and hand a few times without knowing it. This one hurt. So I suffer with it for two long days and nights before I finally break down and find someone to take pics of the inside of my foot. I broke it.

How do you break your ankle without knowing it? I walked on this thing for a couple weeks before it stopped me. So now the tough guy feels like a sheep. Now I'm thinkin' that 34 may be stoppin' me. Gotta' shake that, ya know? So now I'm layin' around. Everybody goes everywhere and I'm all jacked up and just stupid enough to walk on it once in awhile. You never know. The doc could be wrong about the two weeks it's gonna' take to be able to get movin' again. It's been exactly a week....maybe.....and I'm still in pretty bad shape.

This might be the first time in my life I can't play my drums. That freaks me out. What I'm wondering now is...how bored can someone become before it's life threatening. I've got way too much time to think. Anyone out there get into trouble just by thinkin'? No? Well I do. No keyboard, no games.....bumbed a couple movies off my boy Jamie......Silver Surfer wasn't bad, Transformers Rocked! I rented spiderman.....I hated it. Just got done watchin' Mr. Brooks. What a trip.

I hate it when you can see that twist commin'.........I gotsa' go back to work Thursday. Tomorrow I'm getting my back X-Ray'd to see if I have damaged it. It's been botherin' me too. All jack'd up baby! I'd get on my knees and pray for healing but my foot won't point the right direction hahahahaha!
I'm thinkin' lighting all this hair on fire would be cool. I'll have to barrow Shawn's cam corder so I can put it on youtube.