Batter up!!!

....so there I was, poised in the front yard, in the dark, holding a baseball bat like it was a samurai sword.....in a pair of silk boxers. I'm thinkn'....this might be kinda' hot I weren't packn' twenty extra pounds. Just then I saw the brightest light! It was blinding! It was......the police. Two maglight wielding officers stepped out of the car and began walking toward me. I froze. How the hell am I gonna' explain this.

One of the officers asked me..."Are you looking for somebody?" Without missing a beat I answered..."Ya, my pitcher, have you seen him?" They were laughn' their asses off when one of them spotted a baseball in my yard. He's now completely lost it but he manages to form the words..."Looks like we have an abduction on our hands!!!" and continues to crack up. The other guy takes the ball still chuckling, says, "batter up," and throws the ball at me. I swung....CRACK!

I hit the ball and the ball hit one of the officers right in the fruity pebbles! "Oh my God!" They're gonna' give me the chair for this, I thought. I dropped the bat and went over to the officers. The one that pitched it was laughing so hard he couldn't stand up and the other one was in tears rolling around on the sidewalk yelling..."Oh God, Oh God, Oh God!!!" I said, "So is that like assault with a deadly weapon?" I don't think the pitcher could breathe hahahahaha. Long story short they went on their way and I was left to ponder this event.